The supposed superiority of foreigners

“The only way forward in a cross-relationship is to be accepting and to alter one’s mindset so as to allow for a harmonious relationship.  … the superiority complex that so often accompanies the mindset of foreigners living in developing countries is a recipe for more than just disaster.”

The above was from an article on dating Vietnamese in the latest addition of The Word Hanoi not, as you might expect, from some NGO handbook.

The whole notion of assumed superiority has been knocking around my head for sometime. Foreigners over locals. Expat over expat.

First off I am guilty of all of this.  Maybe more guilty than most.  Perhaps exceptionally guilty.

I came here initially as a VSO volunteer and when you’re here to teach you automatically assume superiority.  In Vietnam it’s a fault that is almost encouraged by the politeness of local people who don’t like to challenge the wisdom of westerners.

I mentioned in my recent wedding speech that I had never lost so many arguments than in the time since I met my wife. That threw me for a while.  Then I realised that I must have been wrong more times than I care to think about at work in Vietnam.  But I kept on making the mistakes.

I do recall how it felt, however, when new volunteers arrived.  Bushy tailed, bright-eyed and full of good intentions they’d insist on trying to implement assorted ideas that I knew just weren’t suitable. Mostly I knew because I’d seen them fail before. I was irritated while Vietnamese staff indulged the foreigners one more time.

The truth is while we knew our subjects we didn’t know Vietnam. How could we and yet we also didn’t know enough to question our own superiority.

Perhaps because of isolation perhaps because of poverty, most likely because of a desire for a little bit of hustle in an environment that doesn’t always make it easy, Vietnam is full of workarounds and evolved solutions.

The traffic is a fine example.  At first glance it’s anarchy but later you learn the unofficial rules.

You can’t watch everything so just worry about what’s in front of you.  Stay central unless you’re turning. If someone is in your way – peep first then break. Be aware that a teenage moron could zig or zag in front of you at any time, so drive slow and be cautious enough for both of you.

How do you even start to teach that to a non-native traffic planner?

I see so when it’s summer they drive and stop at lights only on the shady parts of the road.

How do you tackle the anarchy and replace these evolved habits with something that still works?  There are too many vehicles and not enough roads and yet the system almost, if not quite, works.  I’m not sure a textbook traffic system could replace it – not without huge investment and massive education, neither of which Vietnam can afford.

Our ways of working might just be better but that doesn’t mean they’ll work here.

The expat superiority extends to the pages of the New Hanoian.  Just why do we feel we have the expertise to lecture on service? Is it right to insist that a café reaches some western ideal when we aren’t even in the west?

You want your waitress to speak better English?  How about paying 50% more for your meal and you can sponsor her through English classes?  No? Thought not.  The profits margins in most Vietnamese businesses just aren’t built for such investment.

What percentage of Vietnamese fluent in English do you think spent all those years studying in order to bring coffee to foreigners?

But expat superiority goes beyond how we react to Vietnamese.  We constantly snipe at each other too.

Broadly speaking it’s about how we choose to live.  Are our lives too Vietnamese?  Not Vietnamese enough?

I can’t believe she employs a cook. I can’t believe they don’t have a maid. He takes their child on his motorbike.  She has an SUV and a driver. I’ve never seen them eat Vietnamese food. Not ever. He pays 100,000 for a pizza when pho across the road is only…

Sometimes it seems we are all stuck between the ideals of what we think our life and mindset should be in Vietnam.

Social media exasperates this. On platforms like Twitter we get to surround ourselves with likeminds and we sound off – backing up our prejudices and everyone else’s too.

Like I said, I’m guilty.  Probably way more than most and I’m trying to do something about it.

Back in the UK I can recall competitiveness in terms of who owns what, who was the most successful, who had the best record collection etc

That’s all stripped away in expat land.  Instead we concentrate on trying to claim moral superiority. In the meantime we continue the ugly habit of assuming superiority over local people.

There’s a fine line between naïveté and racism.

Social, work and personal challenges have seen my ego dismantled this year.  I had it coming I think.  Learning how Vietnam works and even the mechanics of expat land will take a while.

It feels like I need to knock it all down in order to build something better.

Consider it an early resolution for 2011.