Comments on: Reflections on reactions to an Asian bride

By: Khanh

Khanh — Sun, 11 Jul 2010 21:27:48 +0000

Congratulation on your marriage. I haven’t had a chance to read your blog in a while, but I’ve enjoyed reading since your first time in Vietnam.

In 2004, I visited Vietnam with my father and at a dress shop in Hue, the seamstress asked if he was my ‘sugar daddy’. Then I remembered one morning in Hanoi, waiting for my ride to Halong Bay, I saw many young Vietnamese girls in their ‘ao dai’ escorting older caucasian men into hotels. I was not offended as my brother already had several money-exchanged-marriage-proposals!

It was just another experience in Vietnam. I didn’t change the wonderful trip I had with my father.

By: Orla

Orla — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 07:05:09 +0000

Thank you so much for such an honest and open piece.

By: ourman

ourman — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:04:06 +0000

Richard S – I actually think that whoever you marry you’re only grown up enough to do so when you’re mature enough to not give a stuff about what anyone else thinks in general.

Thanks for the comment and glad you liked the pics.

By: ourman

ourman — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:00:10 +0000

Meemalee, Loan likes to complain about foreigners in general. Not entirely sure why she married one.

Weird also, I guess.

UPDATE: Loan just read that and now maintains that she doesn’t complain about all foreigners – just me. Apparently.

By: Richard S

Richard S — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 12:00:03 +0000

Oh: PS – Congratulations! And great pics…

By: Richard S

Richard S — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:59:14 +0000

Just enjoy and be grateful for a great relationship and partnership. None of the rest of it matters a jot.

By: meemalee

meemalee — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:44:21 +0000

My (white) husband is slightly younger than me, but is convinced that he’s aging more quickly.

However, he’s quite looking forward to people accusing me of being an Asian mail-order bride.

But then he’s weird.

By: ourman

ourman — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:29:37 +0000

Dames – yup, it’s all about the happiness. I promised her Dad I’d make her happy.

M – funny the not being “that guy” thing. When we first got together I briefly considered a new healthy regime so I wouldn’t look like “that guy”. Shamefully it didn’t last long.

It does seem like we have both been through similar thoughts on this matter.

Drifter – thanks – we’ve still known each other less than a year but the change has been remarkable.

By: Drifter

Drifter — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 11:20:06 +0000

I look at your pictures and see two people in love…..be it young or old, Asian or Westerner…..life is short, be happy!

By: M

Thu, 08 Jul 2010 10:59:02 +0000

Thanks for this article. I recently returned to Vietnam to pursue a relationship with a local woman that I met while travelling here two years ago. I’m 30, she’s 24. Three months in and everything is going well.

When I first arrived, I was very sensitive about this very issue. I also found myself judging foreign men and local women (mostly the men) in exactly the way that I dreaded others to be judging me and my partner.

My partner has done a good job of helping get over it, and now in many cases I’ve gone from thinking “that’s creepy” to “they look happy”. Not in all cases, of course, because stereotypes exist for good reason and I have seen plenty of sterotypical behaviour.

I beleive that awareness is half the battle, and in your case the battle seems to be won. More than I trust myself not to become “that guy”, I trust my partner not to put up with any crap.

All the best to you both.